Nero's revolving dining room, er, ceiling

Nero's revolving dining room has been unearthed by archaeologists in Rome says AP.
It seems to fit in with Suetonius' account in the Lives of the Caesars but the impression given by all the news coverage is that the actual room moved.



But it is more likely that the roof revolved (see Graves' translation of Suetonius below). It's a great discovery but it's sloppy journalism.



For more on Nero, and he was quite a guy, go here.

Don't look for blame, look for change

In The Guardian Simon Jenkins says it is all to easy to blame the police in cases like that of Fiona Pilkington.
He claims that we need stronger local institutions to moderate the behaviour of so-called feral Britain. Jenkins contrasts the response here to the likely reaction in France or Italy.
It's refreshing to see someone moving beyond the blame game and on to what we should do to avoid it happening again and again.
We have to try.

Readers lead and The Sun follows

So The Sun has declared for the Conservatives.
But this looks like more a case of following the tide of public opinion rather than seeking to lead it.
Nobody wants to be on the losing side and The Sun has put its chips on blue and taken them away from red.
Spin the wheel.

Staffordshire hoard dig criticised

There has been some measured, and not so measured, criticism of the dig that unearthed the Staffordshire hoard.
Archaeologists exposed the seventh century gold after a metal detectorist came across the finds in a farmer's field.
All well and good so far, but now the amateur video of the dig has surfaced to be met with a barrage of less than complimentary comments about the way in which the excavation was carried out.



Paul Barford has an excellent blog on the Portable Antiquities Scheme and has a balanced and considered piece on the dig.
He says: 'This video creates the impression of an extremely unprofessional excavation and as a British archaeologist, frankly I am ashamed.
'Basically the video shows the objects being dug up by these archaeologists like potatoes.'
As Paul adds, questions need to be asked about what went on in Staffordshire and why.
Our heritage is at stake.

Is drug running really easy money?

The Independent's Tom Sutcliffe claims that the drug bust by HMS Iron Duke is likely to make people think: 'Just look at how much this stuff is worth, it seems to say, and how relatively easy it is to hide it. Isn't this a business you should be thinking of getting into?'
It certainly did nothing to attract me to the 'glamour' world of international drug smuggling.
But what I found more concerning was the trouble that the gunners on the Iron Duke had in hitting a stationary target back in July.
Just look at the ammo they used - couldn't they just have pulled the plug?

Not so brave Kevin Maguire

You have got to admire the Daily Mirror's Kevin Maguire.
Today he declares that: 'Gordon Brown will lead Labour into the election'.
Unequivocal stuff that could so easily come back to haunt him, you might think.
But of course, if it does come off the Mirror, and Kev, can say 'I told you so' or conveniently forget about it if it doesn't.
It's a win-win situation, so maybe he's not quite so brave after all.

Political party scrappage scheme

The government is to extend its political party scrappage scheme.
The scheme, which started in May, gives voters £2,000 off a new party if they trade in one at least 10 years old.
Business Secretary Lord Mandelson is set to announce the move, which has been called for by the electorate, in his Labour Party conference speech.
Voters have urged Chancellor Alistair Darling to extend the scheme to help save democracy amid concerns that faith in politicians would fall sharply without continued incentives to boost credibility.
"It is far from certain that consumer demand for politics can remain at these levels without government and industry providing incentives to replace older parties," said a Floating Voter.
"There are, therefore, clear risks that the recent upward trend will go into reverse once the current scrappage scheme expires."
With apologies to the BBC.

Was Marr right to quiz Brown on health?

Here's the footage from Andrew Marr's questioning of Gordon Brown yesterday



Even if he had lost the sight in his 'good' eye how would that affect his ability to lead the country?
And the pep pills question was just ridiculous. Even if he was on them why should he admit it?
Let's face it there's plenty of other stuff that he could ask him.

Thick as thieves

Great story in The Times today about a bank robber who used his own car, complete with personalised number plate, as a getaway vehicle.
Unsurprisingly he was caught pretty quickly.
It does beg the question as to why the judge in charge of the case described the crime as a 'professional, sophisticated, planned robbery'.
I would suggest there was one detail they overlooked.

Chas and Dave

If you were in two minds about whether or not to buy tomorrow's Sunday Express this may tip the balance.
The paper is offering a free Chas and Dave CD for every reader - postage required.
It's difficult to see how this will arrest the paper's downward spiral.

News in the Telegraph

Guido is rightly sceptical about the Telegraph's supposedly noble motives for publishing the MP expenses revelations.
Sure they shelled out cash for the information but they've more than recouped the investment in increased sales.
It's called the newspaper business. You sell them to make money.
Hopefully the success they've enjoyed by putting some real news in the paper may encourage them to continue, instead of going down their digital cul-de-sac.
Although there's been nothing in the Tele of late to suggest that may be the case.

BA seat charges

British Airways want customers to pay extra to sit together on the grounds that this will 'give customers more control over their seating options'.
Why can't they just say it's because they're skint?
Perhaps BA might want to reset their value calculator that exposes the hidden charges on other airlines.

Boat saves sharks

Thanks to Terry Wogan for pointing out that a shark sanctuary the size of France created by Palau, a South Pacific republic, is to be patrolled by, er, one boat.
And according to the Beeb 'a recent aerial survey found fishing 70 vessels in the area, most of them illegally'.
Apparently Johnson Toribiong, the Palau president, will announce it to the UN today, notwithstanding the fact that the shark sanctuary was created in 2001.

Is this the world's longest basketball shot?

Looks too good to be true but I guess with a lot of takes it could be done.
What do you think?

Few drops of water on the moon

The Times has a front-page story dedicated to an Indian spaceship finding evidence of 'large quantities' of water on the moon.
It goes on to outline the implications for future space exploration.
But before you start thinking about moonbase alpha have a look at the New Scientist's take on the findings.
They say: Harvesting water from a baseball-field-sized swathe of soil might yield "a nice glass of water", according to Carle Pieters of Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island, leader of the Chandrayaan-1 instrument team that made the detection.
Detail, details

Digging for debt

A haul of 5kg of Anglo-Saxon gold has been found beneath a field in Staffordshire.
It's been labelled 'the equivalent of finding a new Lindisfarne Gospels or Book of Kells'.
However, I'm sure Alistair Darling must be wondering what percentage of the national debt he could pay off with this windfall. And if there's any more lying about?
The Government will soon be issuing us all with metal detectors to go forth and dig our way out of recession.
They'll label it a 'community heritage revenue scheme' and will agree to split the proceeds 50/50.
You heard it here first.

Northern Rock and a hard place

Sky says that Northern Rock is to be split into two banks.
The 'good bank', called BankCo, would hold the valuable parts of Northern Rock, including the bank's retail deposit base and its branch network.
The 'bad bank', called AssetCo, would hold billions of pounds worth of the old bank's bad debts.
Guess which bit the taxpayer will own?

Clegg talks the talk

Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg says that he aims to be Prime Minister.
I plan on managing a Champions League side but it's pretty unlikely to happen.
Perhaps Nick is planning on changing parties.

Spotted Dick returns

Spotted Dick is back on the menu down in Wales.
No doubt the enormous pressure exerted by the earlier posting was too much to bare for Flintshire council.
But they have warned customers who act in a "childish way" to behave themselves or they will be refused food.
Go for it boys.

Nuclear guesswork

This graphic appears on the BBC news website to illustrate the story about Gordon Brown's cost-cutting plan to reduce the UK's number of nuclear subs from four to three.
The illlustration is supposed to show who has got how many nuclear warheads but admirably states this caveat: All numbers are estimates because exact numbers are top secret.
So what's the point of guessing how many each country has got? It's utterly meaningless.

Charm your way to the top

In The Financial Times Luke Johnson says: 'I have met a number of entrepreneurs who have built fortunes on the back of their wit and general popularity – and not much else.'
Wise words and who can argue.
I've been trying to do it for years with little success. Clearly I need some remedial classes at charm school.

Climate change - are we on the brink?

Some powerful stuff from Johann Hari in today's Independent about climate change.
He thinks we all know what needs to be done to avoid ecological disaster but asks whether we have the courage to do it.
'Are we a great generation – or the worst of all?'
When you read something like this you begin to realise just how politically impotent we all are individually. Collectively we can make a difference but the difficulty lies in finding how we can band together to force change.

Chas and Dave split

I can't believe it.
There'll be plenty of rabbit about this tomorrow in the jellies. For the full story have a butcher's at this.
Fortunately, I've got my beer in the sideboard here to help get over the shock.
Will they now be performing as 'Chas' and 'Dave', if you see what I mean.
It's going to be like Sartre's notion of not Pierre. You will see the missing other more than you'll notice the one that's there - existential hell.

More good news

Apparently 'people appear less likely to die following brain trauma if they have alcohol in their bloodstream'.
This comes from emergency doctors in the US.
Mine's a Pride.

Who's your Chauncey Gardiner?

In today's Mail Richard Littlejohn describes Vince Cable as the 'Chauncey Gardiner of modern British politics'.
It's a withering put-down and neatly sums up anyone who is in an influential position with acolytes who hang on to every word. However these pearls of wisdom are seen by others to be vacuous utterances with no substance - they see the individual as someone with no insight and little ability who is fooling people.
I've always thought of Sven Goran-Eriksson like this. Listen to what he says and imagine it being related by Harry Redknapp or Sam Allardyce. The measured Scandinavian tone lends it gravitas that it does not deserve.
So who's your Chauncey Gardiner?

Toilet snake is finally captured

At last some good news.

Moving a problem and making it worse

The French police have cleared the Sangatte migrant camp known as The Jungle
Is this really going to solve anything?
Surely it is just a case of moving a problem. The Refugee Council have realised.
And where are these people going to live?
And surely this will make it easier for those who prey on the refugees.

La Princesse et le President

Would you have believed me if I had told you yesterday that Valery Giscard d'Estaing had penned a work of fiction with a plot line about a French president's secret affair with an English princess?
Well it's true.
His thinly disguised character, let's call her Diana, is smitten with some old French geezer, let's call him Valery.
This really is one of those cases where fact surpasses fiction, by becoming fiction itself.
La Princesse et le President is due to be published next week.
Mills and Boon eat your broken hearts out.

Sad, sad stuff - poor lawyers

The Times reveals that some solicitors are being paid less than last year.
Top commercial lawyers forced to slash rates.
The poor loves now have to get by on just £450 per hour instead of last year's £675.
Avruga must be replacing Beluga on their morning toast.
The source of this information is Jim Diamond Research. Jim is a lawyer who advises clients on cases where they have been overcharged by legal professionals and claims he has never lost a case 'when I have advised the legal fees charged/paid were excessive'.
My guess is that this does not make him universally liked.

Renault let-off

Renault seem to have got off remarkably lightly in the Crashgate affair.
When you consider McLaren received a huge fine for nicking some Ferrari blueprints, a suspended sentence for an offence that could have had lethal consequences is remarkable.
And I'm not the only one who thinks so.
But Max Mosley thinks it is the right decision, so that's all right then. Funny, I always thought he was a bit of a disciplinarian.

Labouring at the Express

In The Daily Express Leo McKinstry says 'the foul odour of moral decay hangs over the dying Labour government'.
Don't read it all but here it is. You know what he's going to say anyway.
Is it just me but is this not a bit rich coming from a faded institution that is cutting ever more editorial jobs.

Anaesthetic for the brain

Nice perspective on the erosion of civil liberties here in the UK by John Kampfner in The Independent, even if he is flogging his new book.
If you haven't got time to read it all, he says: 'We have elevated private freedoms, especially the freedom to earn and spend money, over public freedoms, such as democratic participation and accountability and free expression. I call the thirst for material comfort the ultimate anaesthetic for the brain.'

Maradona earring grab

Apparently Italian police have seized Diego Maradona's earrings in lieu of a huge tax bill he still has yet to pay from his time at Napoli in the 1980s.
He, allegedly, owes 37m euros and every time he goes to Italy they have the right to take anything of value that is in plain sight.
It does beg the questions, why go to that health clinic and why wear earrings that cost £4k?
I prefer to remember him as a player of extraordinary skill and inventiveness.
Pity he couldn't bring that guile into his post-playing life.

Best film of all time?

The Independent runs their top 20 in the 100 best films of all time series.
Guess what film critic Anthony Quinn plumps for at No1?
That's right, All About Eve, the 1950 Joseph L Mankiewicz production that starred Bette Davis.
I confess I've never heard of it, or six of the other movies in the top 20.
But at 13 he's gone for my choice.

Observer reprieve but not for staff

The Daily Telegraph reports that The Observer will continue to trundle on despite rumours of closure.
Parent group Guardian Media Group say there will be a 'greater degree of integration between the editorial teams of the Guardian and Observer'.
That means fewer people doing more work and an inevitable drop in quality.
From what I've heard the staff are already working long hours under huge pressure. The ones I know would be happy to see it close and use their redundancy to do something less stressful.

Perfect PR Boris

This is a great example of an inconsequential issue blown up out of all proportion to maximise a PR opportunity.
Mayor orders Thames back on map
'Furious', I don't think so.
I bet he was rubbing his hands with glee when he realised what capital could be made of this omission.
Gung-ho nonsense like this merely serves to distract attention from the real issues that plague people's lives. Sadly, it seems to work.

Management con-sultancy

The Independent has run an interesting piece from a management consultancy insider on the tricks of the trade.
Matthew Stewart says: 'I landed the job by providing a credible response to this question: How many pubs are there in Great Britain? The purpose of that question, I realised after the interview, was to see how easily I could talk about a subject of which I knew almost nothing, on the basis of facts that were almost entirely fictional. It was an excellent introduction to management consulting.'
I'm sure there's lots of people out there who would get away with it if they could.

Worst act of cheating in the history of sport

The Times have done a superb job on the Renault race fix story.
Simon Barnes is at his lucid best and the whole package is brilliantly done.

Eduardo confounds scientific evidence

Psychologist with the University of Portsmouth Dr Paul Morris, as reported in today's Telegraph and elsewhere, has found that footballers use a series of distinct actions when faking a fall during a match.
One of which is:
Holding up both arms in the air, with open palms, chest thrust out, legs bent at the knee in an ''archer's bow'' position. (See left)
But Uefa upheld Eduardo's appeal against his ban for diving after this incident in the game against Celtic.
Confusing eh?

Derren Brown - has he missed the point

In The Daily Mirror it says: Derren Brown vows to keep TV viewers stuck to their seats during How to Control the Nation on Friday - exclusive.
Wouldn't it be more impressive if he could get people off their sofas?

Searching for The Lost Symbol

Unsurprisingly, The Guardian's Mark Lawson is not happy with Dan Brown's latest.
The Lost Symbol makes 'Jeffrey Archer read like Dostoevsky in comparison'.
But what of Mark's own literary efforts?
A customer review of Going Out Live on Amazon says: 'The novel's satirical intent is undermined by his decision to give his characters the same sort of names as they would get in Carry On Broadcasting. A Northern sports reporter is called Barry Accrington, a pop star Marty Stark - unbelievably feeble. The trompe l'oeil ending is a complete cop out.'
Confucius say: What goes around, comes around.

Floyd's last meal

Keith Floyd had a delicious last meal at the Hix Oyster and Fish House in Lyme Regis, see graphic on the right from the Daily Mail, and declared: 'I have not felt this well in ages.'
Pure class.
It made me think about what I'd have for my last meal - on the assumption that one can choose of course.
Duck, goose, oysters, foie gras, banoffee pie, mango sorbet, pork belly, Amarone - it sounds like a perverse version of These Are a Few of My Favourite Things - I just can't make my mind up.
What about you?

Loads of money for Harry

The yanks seem very interested in the fact that Prince Harry has turned 25 and is in line for some inheritance cash.
Can't see this being much of a story in tomorrow's papers in the UK. He wasn't exactly short of money before and he's even got a proper job.

Keith Floyd RIP

I shall miss Keith Floyd.
He once said a hire car was the only car that you could take on to any terrain.
Fantastic enthusiasm, humility and thirst.
I'll open a bottle of red and raise a glass to his memory this evening.

Polly's right - again

Sometimes it is very difficult to argue with Guardian grande dame Polly Toynbee.
'The same self-righteous press that today protests at checks and registers is often first to accuse ministers and officials of negligence whenever harm befalls a child. Just remember the frenzy of "Blood on their hands" hate they rained down on Haringey social workers involved in the Baby P tragedy.'
And she's right, it is a minor nuisance having to CRB checked but nothing more than that.
I feel happier knowing that the people whose kids I coach know I have been.
And I'd expect anyone who deals with my children to be vetted in the same way.

Danish Karen - more charm than harm

A hoax YouTube video has been placed, supposedly by the Danish tourist board, in which a mother appeals for the father of her baby to come forward.
Mashable has the full tale here.
The little boy was conceived in a drunken one-night stand and the mum, Karen, is trying to find the tourist by whom she had the baby.
I don't think the charms of Danish actress Ditte Arnth Jørgensen is going to do any harm to the tourist agency, despite uproar over the underhand ad tactic.

Phoenix Four let-off

The Phoenix Four have got off lightly. Apart from Peston's blog they have attracted nowhere near the amount of criticism doled out to MPs, Fred Goodwin or Bernie Madoff.

But why not? The men who presided over the collapse of MG Rover gave themselves £42m.

As Peston says:

The inspectors describe the remuneration as "unreasonably large" for a whole host of reasons, such as:

(1) the financial performance of the business was lamentable;
(2) the executives risked only paltry sums of their own money;
(3) they had never in the past been paid anything like this for their alleged business skills.

Johnson on Johnson

Boris Johnson writes today: 'He is not just sexist. He is not just xenophobic. He is a free-market, monarchy-loving advocate of the necessity of human inequality.'
Can Mr Mayor be caught in a rare moment of self-reflection? No, of course not, he's talking about Dr Johnson in today's Tele.

Short-term ministers

In The FT Steve Bundred, chief executive of the Audit Commission, questions whether it is possible to have strong and effective Government when ministers rarely last long in any one post.
The revolving door policy works for Premiership managers, to a degree, but is it any way to run a country?
It also brings up one of the inherent failings of our democratic system. Politicians are there to get voted back in, not worry about what the country will be like in 10-15 years' time when they are cashing in on pensions, directorships and cash from memoir royalties

Be Frank, Bjorn

A whinge from multi-millionaire Bjorn from Abba about file-sharing in today's Times fails to elicit much sympathy.
A much more eloquent 'why we shouldn't' is heard from Frank Turner, a young singer/songwriter for whom the subject really matters.

Blame game

Lord Mandelson is calling on the four men who bought MG Rover for a tenner and paid themselves £42m during their six years in charge to say sorry.
This really is a pretty lame way to shift the blame away from the Government for allowing a strategic industry to go into foreign ownership.
There's more to this than meets the eye and I expect we'll be hearing a few gory details in the next few days.

Shellfish behaviour

The Guardian have chosen to give page 3 to the Fat Duck oyster poison story.
A telly chef with a batch of dodgy shellfish? Is it really worth all that premium space?
Heston Blumenthal's restaurant is fully booked for the next two months, no wonder he doesn't feel the need to respond.
Perhaps someone at the paper can't get a table.

Camilla - old bag from Deptford

It's very difficult to dislike anyone with a sense of humour and the ability to poke fun at themselves.
Camilla Parker Bowles has a 'who gives a toss' approach to her PR which seems to be working a treat.

PM apology after Turing petition

Is there any point in issuing apologies to the long dead?
Alan Turing was badly treated for being gay despite his contribution to the war effort.
The energy used in getting Gordon Brown to say 'sorry' would be better used in creating a Turing Foundation to promote the advancement of computer science or to fight against prejudice.
Brown says: "This recognition of Alan's status as one of Britain's most famous victims of homophobia is another step towards equality and long overdue."
Worthy stuff but we should be working for those ideals now, not apologising for not having them 60 years ago.

How to sneeze

Forget the story about spending cuts, check out the picture.
This apparently shows health secretary Andy Burnham (left) and chief medical officer Sir Liam Donaldson showing schoolkids how to sneeze while discussing swine flu.
How to sneeze?
Has no one heard of a handkerchief?

David Cameron coasting to mediocrity

In The Independent Matthew Norman writes that David Cameron 'knows he need do nothing to win [the next election] well, and doing nothing other than affect an aura of paternalistic competence will, we must assume, be the hallmark of his administration.'
It's very depressing but we know it's true.
Here's the full piece if you can bear it.

Hammer horror

Just when you thought the image of West Ham United could not get any worse The Sun reveals a new low.
With the club's ownership in question and still paying for the maladministration of the last regime, reeling from riots on the pitch and around the ground, with a player recovering from stab wounds and another mourning the death of his father - we get this.
Cannibal killer Peter Bryan, who murdered one of his victims with a hammer, emerged from Broadmoor yesterday wearing a West Ham tracksuit.

Collins hangs up his sticks

The Daily Mirror reveals today that Phil Collins will never drum again.
And there's more bad news - he can still 'sing'.
The chocolate ad was fun though.

Sleep experts

I know it's a legitimate area of medical study but the notion of a sleep expert made me snigger.
Bed sharing 'drains men's brains'
Seems that married men have an excuse for being thick now.
My wife is an expert at sleeping but not so proficient at waking up.

Evolving tale

Stories like this in today's Independent serve to ram home the notion that we know very little indeed.
A skull that rewrites the history of man
Human evolution, it seems, is a tale that is subject to considerable evolution itself.

Spotted Richard's no Dick

This is one of those stories that makes you check that it's not April 1.
Pudding renamed Spotted Richard
What next?
No more knobs of butter on your crumpet.
The news editors are going to love this.

McCurry wins legal battle

I'd much rather have a McCurry than a McDonald's.
Looks delicious.
How could 'Mc' infringe the burger bar's trademark? Serves them right.

A moral case for 10:10

This is a thought-provoking piece from James Garvey in The Guardian.
The right thing to do is the right thing to do, whether others ignore it or not, he says.
Now there's an uncomfortable truth.
Here's a link to the 10:10 website if Garvey's convinced you.

Telegraph losing it - again

The Daily Telegraph is labelling a series of articles 'Conservatives: Path to Power'.
This is stretching journalistic impartiality to its limits.
Ultimately the paper will lose out after er-establishing its reputation with the MP expenses story. You can't fool the readers for long.

Sarkozy people short sighted

Could it be true that President Sarkozy's 'people' carefully chose the workers at a Normandy factory on grounds of short stature so they didn't tower over the French premier?
The Mail says so today but the Elysee denies it, of course.
Sarko's people should have been one step ahead and anticipated this interpretation of events. In that way they could have done away with the flanking workers and left 5ft 5in Sarkozy alone on the podium - then there would be no unfavourable comparison.
The Spinal Tap Stonehenge scene keeps springing to mind here.

BNP on Question Time?

Here's an interesting slant on the BNP issue.
The oxygen of publicity didn't seem to harm the Nazis in Germany although I think the BBC audience is intelligent enough not to be taken in by any fascist propaganda.

Red top heaven

The tabs are going to love this one.

Soap star finds man's body in van

Afghan election tactics

Today's prize for most illustrative news picture of the day goes to this peach from The Times.
If they did cheat, they didn't do it very well and if they didn't it looks like there may have been a bit of persuasion going on at the polling booths.
Could be giving Gordon a few ideas, and according to Jackie Ashley, he's gonna need them.