Hats off to Danny MacAskill

There's something marvellously inspirational and optimistic about this Danny MacAskill trick-riding video. Great music by Band of Horses too.



No surprise that his talent has been recognised and he is now to feature in a Hollywood movie. He's not just fantastically athletic but displays extraordinary creativity in planning his stunts.
Well done Danny.
Happy New Year everyone.

What will we call the next decade?

The noughties seems to have been coined for the decade that's just about to end but what of the next?
The 'tennies', the 'teenies', the 'twenty tens' are all unsatisfactory.
Any thoughts?

Hitchhikers' guide to murder

I've been wondering why you don't see many hitchhikers these days and the statistics in this video explain why.

Volvo bought by Chinese

Ford has agreed the sale of Volvo to Chinese firm Geely.
It was bad enough when Ford bought Volvo but this is surely not going to see a return to the high production values and attention to detail that made the marque one of the greats.
After the news about the demise of Saab earlier in the week the Swedes must be suicidal - although apparently that's an urban myth. 
I've had a Volvo 360, 740s, 760, 850s, T5s, XC90 and V70s but this is it. I'm off to Mercedes, a 90s S-class, unless there's an old V70R around of course.

Schumacher comeback

Michael Schumacher is making a well-predicted return to Formula One.
But should he?
Will he win the title again like a latter-day Niki Lauda or will he be well off the pace after four years out?
I'm not sure he should but if the Mercedes (Brawn) is competitive he may return to the podium. His team-mate Nico Rosberg is unlikely to show him up either.
Whatever happens it can't be as bad as Nigel Mansell's comeback with McLaren in 1995. The portly former world champion could not fit in the car and, despite his storming time at Ferrari and Williams, that remains the lasting memory of Mansell.
The sadly departed Observer Sport Monthly once compiled a list of the greatest sporting comebacks of all time and I was lucky enough to be at No8 - when France beat New Zealand 43-31 in the Rugby World Cup semi-final at Twickenham in 1999.
Two-try Jonah Lomu looked shellshocked after the game.
Can Schumi join the pantheon of comeback kings? An interesting season awaits.

Auschwitz sign returned

The theft of the sign from the Auschwitz concentration camp reflected badly on the whole human race and it is an enormous relief that it has been found.
We must stay vigilant against extremism in all its forms. This sorry episode serves as a salient reminder of that.

Eurostar showing its age

It's important to remember that the Eurostar trains brought to a halt in the Channel Tunnel by electrical problems are now 15 years old.
The styling means they may still look pretty high-tech but this rolling stock was built between 1992 and 1996.
In 2003 Eurostar announced plans for a facelift but no real engineering upgrades have ever taken place.
In the light of more extreme weather on the way isn't it about time they undertook a root and branch appraisal of the trains?

Gareth Thomas comes out

Hats off to former Lions skipper Gareth Thomas for outing himself as a gay man in The Daily Mail of all places.
It's a shame that he didn't feel comfortable doing so earlier  in his career.
I am positive that the vast majority of rugby crowds would have treated him with respect. Let's see the reaction he gets as a Cardiff Blues player now.
There'll be banter, sure, but I'll be very surprised if it descends into abuse.
I don't think the same could be said of football.
It will be interesting to find out what prompted Thomas to tell the world now. The Mail piece says: 'It's his choice. No one has forced his hand.'
We'll see. I'll reserve judgement on that one for now.

Cleopatra's palace

Archaeologists have raised a red granite pillar from Alexandria harbour that they believe was part of Cleopatra's palace.
The Egyptian authorities have, very, ambitious plans to make the harbour an underwater museum at a cost of $140m.

Why kids should avoid alcohol

Does the chief medical officer Sir Liam Donaldson really think people don't know that 'drinking, particularly at a young age, a lack of parental supervision, exposing children to drink-fuelled events and failing to engage with them as they grow up are the root causes from which our country's serious alcohol problem has developed'.
How much did this report cost and what is he paid to come up with this sanctimonious, blindingly obvious drivel.
No doubt Sir Liam will come and pat any parent on the head who doesn't slip a six-pack of Special Brew into their eight-year-old's stocking on Christmas Eve.
He's retiring in May and will be able to draw upon a £2.2m pension pot that he's built up over 15 years in the job.

Snow predictable

Brace yourself for the travel chaos stories that will come in the wake of this week's snowfall.
Expect to hear stuff like 'why aren't we more prepared for snow'. Of course it's because it doesn't happen very often we don't waste money on keeping snowploughs in mothballs for most of the year or build trains with heaters.
The Highways Agency advises:

1. Do not travel in severe weather unless your journey is essential
2. Check local and national weather forecasts before setting out and take warm clothes, food, water, boots, a torch and spade
3. Drive with care even after roads are salt treated and keep your distance - it can take 10 times longer to stop in icy conditions

I wonder what percentage of people comply with No2?

Gazza arrested again

Paul Gascoigne has been arrested and fined for being drunk and disorderly.
A 42-year-old drunk with plenty of previous and a history of domestic violence should not elicit sympathy but he does. His mental health problems are well documented and help to paint him as a victim of fame but mostly it's what he used to do that makes us feel sorry for him.
For those who enjoyed the 1990 World Cup and saw him play, Gascoigne is frozen in time as the cheeky chappy with the lightning-fast feet and creative genius.
But, sadly, it seems he is destined never to change despite plenty of declarations that his bad days are behind him. Where are the hangers-on and celebrity pals now?

BA steward's side of strike story

Daniel Finkelstein has posted a BA steward's side of the strike story on The Times' Comment Central website.
The cabin crew veteran is 'furious with BA for putting us all in this position'.
It is a cogent yet impassioned response to criticism levelled at cabin crew from all sides over the past few days.
Well worth a read.
Contrasts markedly with all the Willie Walsh hand-wringing.
The difference? Multi-million pound PR on one side and not much of a contribution from Unite to put their side of the story.

Vanessa George madness

Can anyone explain why Vanessa George, the Little Ted's Nursery paedophile, has received an indeterminate sentence but may be considered for release in seven years?
Possibly with a new ID in deference to her human rights. What about the rights of the children she abused and the families torn apart by anguish.
How did we get here?

Chinook order reveals lack of planning

Ordering 22 more Chinooks to help out in Afghanistan is long overdue but the fact that the helicopters won't be ready until 2012 at the earliest is ridiculous and extremely worrying.
Are we really still going to be losing lives in Afghanistan in three years' time?
This really is an extraordinary admission of incompetence, both in terms of equipment deficiency and the lack of any exit strategy.
We could be there for decades.

BA cabin crew's high life

Simon Calder points out in today's Independent some shocking facts about the easy life enjoyed by BA cabin crew.
He says: 'Never mind another country: some of their counterparts in other airlines accuse BA cabin crew of living on another planet. When easyJet flies from Gatwick to Sharm el Sheikh in Egypt, its cabin crew stay for no more than an hour before coming back; when BA flies the same route, the crew get two or three nights, on full pay and while staying in a five-star hotel, to enjoy the Red Sea coast.'
The strike vote is not quite in the 'turkeys voting for Christmas' category but the timing was hardly designed to get public support for their cause.

Mirror's Santa blooper

The Daily Mirror speculates whether or not Santa is buried in an Irish grave.
Of course, he can't be or he wouldn't be able to deliver all the gifts on the 24th.
Why did nobody at Canary Wharf pick this up?

Tiger Woods and Accenture

You know you're in trouble when management consultants no longer want anything to do with you.
Accenture have ended their sponsorship with serial shagger Tiger Woods as he is no 'longer the right representative for its advertising'.
If you understand what management consultants do you might enjoy these gags over at SpendMatters.
Any suggestions for new commercial liaisons for the new raunchy Tiger?
How about lad mag Loaded or Wii sports - with all fixtures to be played away.

Tiger off the menu

"It's tragic. I think this whole thing is tragic. I am in touch with his wife Elin Nordegren now and then. Me and my husband Mike have been out dining with Elin and Tiger on a few occasions. Perhaps it won't happen as often now."
Former top-ranked women's golfer Annika Sorenstam gets to the real heart of the matter.
Who will she and Mike have dinner with now?
Here's his tearful statement in full.

Why Dean Ashton must not sue

Sad, but not unexpected, news about the retirement of West ham forward Dean Ashton at the age of 26.
The ankle he broke when on England duty has never healed properly and he has decided to call it a day instead of risking permananet disability if he carries on.
But any talk of him taking legal action against Shaun Wright-Philips, Chelsea, the FA or West Ham must be merely that - talk.
Nothing is to be gained by football failing to clean up its own mess. The player is due compensation but the court is not the place to do it. If he does go to law the floodgates of litigation will well and truly be open.
The FA must take the lead and co-ordinate his payout with help from the players' union, the PFA.

Donald Trump's hair

Either Donald Trump's got a terrific sense of humour or perception problems.
In today's FT he lists his hair as one of his best features.
I'll let you be the judge.

Baron Cohen sued for $110m

Sacha Baron Cohen is being sued for $110m by a Palestinian he branded a terrorist in his latest movie Bruno.
Abu Aita has engaged m'learned friends and someone has come up with the figure of $110m. Yes $110m.
Aita's lawyer in the US is Joseph Peter Drennan.
"This is an important lawsuit because it is about the dignity of a specific person. It is about his reputation, about his standing in the community," Drennan said.
But $110m? I daresay that would improve his standing in the community considerably. He'd certainly be my friend.

Nationalist Geographic

National Geographic have listed their top 10 archaeological finds of the year.
No1 is a ship that sank in 1901. The vessel carried gold rush prospectors and was found in a lake in the Yukon remarkably well preserved.
At No2 is the Staffordshire Hoard.
At the risk of sounding nationally biased myself I would humbly suggest they have these about face.
A 100-year-old paddle steamer or 5kg of gold that can tell us an awful lot about seventh century Britain?

Carlos Alberto's all wrong

There's something very weird about seeing this Carlos Alberto classic from the 'wrong' side. It doesn't seem quite as good.

Dear Amy, please help

Amy Winteridge, 10, wrote a letter to the burglar who robbed her home and asked him why he did it.
The burglar was moved and may now think twice about reoffending.
Can Amy please write one to the MPs and bankers who don't have any problem with ripping us off again and again.

Daytime telly on expenses

Forget the bell tower, at least that was worth claiming for at £5k.
But £2 for a hamburger maker and from Labour MP Phil Hope and £43.56 for three "four piece garlic peelers", from Tory MP James Arbuthnot.
The most shocking aspect about Arbie's claim is that he bought the items from shopping channel QVC.
Daytime telly watcher? Surely not.

Bin Laden shocker

The US has finally caught on to the fact that they should really find Osama Bin Laden.
They think it may improve security. What do you know.
The world's most wanted man has been on the run for eight years living on the Pakistan/Afghanistan border, they think.
Surely they could chuck some special forces in there and root him out? There must be units gagging at the chance to have a go.
Or run a competition to find him?

Space for Nasa

Beardie Branson's spaceship seems to have arrived at just the wrong moment for the private traveller with more money than sense.
It looks great though but it's just not 'of the moment'.
It may be able to help the lads at Nasa though who are undergoing something of a funding crisis  to keep projects like the Hubble telescope going.

Put steelworkers in banks

Steelmaker Corus is halting production at its Teesside Cast Products factory, putting 1,700 people out of work.
Will they be subject to a £850bn government bailout?
Apparently it was justifiable to spend all the money we haven't got on the bankers but the steelworkers are unlikely to get the same treatment. I'm sure there will be a few retraining courses though.
Perhaps they can go into banking.

RIP Richard Todd

Here's a bit of The Dambusters to remind us what a great actor he was.

Beware fire gnomes

Now gnomes are a fire hazard. The evill little so-and-sos were ready to trip up unsuspecting tenants fleeing from their burning homes.
Well done Sandwell Metropolitan Borough Council. Taxpayers money well spent.

New kit, old lie

The government are ready to announce that the new kit for troops in Afghanistan is ready to use.
Can we really believe this when so many lies have been told before?
This smacks of the worst kind of political expediency.

Why should we pay when news is free?

After years of free news one of the UK's biggest regional newspaper firms is to start charging for content.
Of course, they should have done this from the outset but now the move is doomed to failure.
A whole generation has been brought up to expect this content for nothing and pereceptions cannot be reverse-engineered. Blogging will rise in the area and community news sites will thrive.
I'm sure Rupert Murdoch will be watching the Whitby Gazette with interest in the coming weeks.

Hari on the money

Excellent piece by Johann Hari about the moral bankruptcy of Dubai in today's Inde.
Spot on.
Shame on us for allowing it to get this far.

Raise a glass to world's strongest beer

What is the point of a 32 per cent alcohol beer?
Other than as a publicity stunt of course. Where it fits the bill perfectly.
Hats off to Edinburgh-based BrewDog who boast that their 'beers are in no way commercial or mainstream.'
They say Tactical Nuclear Penguin is: 'about pushing the boundaries, it is about taking innovation in beer to a whole new level. It is about achieving something which has never before been done and putting Scotland firmly on the map for progressive, craft beers.
'This beer is bold, irreverent and uncompromising. A beer with a soul and a purpose. A statement of intent. A modern day rebellion for the craft beer proletariat in our struggle to over throw the faceless bourgeoisie oppression of corporate, soulless beer.’
Priceless stuff.
But here's the rub.
'Of the 500 330ml bottles released, 250 will be available for £30 with a further 250 available for £250 – the latter will include a  share in the BrewDog company as part of its ‘Equity for Punks’ campaign which is aiming to raise £2.3m to build a new eco-friendly, carbon-neutral brewery in Aberdeen.'
Good luck BrewDog, no one can accuse you of not having a go. Just don't ask me to taste it.

Greatest guitar riffs lack idiocy

Jimi Hendrix's Voodo Chile has been voted greatest guitar riff of all time by musicradar.com. Fair play.
But Day Tripper's at No8 which destroys the list's credibility for me.
And how any rating system can ignore the talent's of Billie Joe Armstrong's rip-snorting attack in American Idiot is beyond me. What do you think?

Staffs hoard valued at £3.2m

The Staffordshire Hoard has been valued at £3.2m. That cash will be split between the landowner and the finder.
There is 5kg of Anglo-Saxon gold in the find and 1.5kg of silver.
The Guardian reports: Professor Norman Palmer, chair of the Treasure Valuation Committee, whose members pored over 1800 gold, silver and jewelled objects in a session at British Museum said: "It was breathtaking – we all agreed that it was not only a challenge but a privilege to be dealing with material of such quantity, quality and beauty. It was hard to stop our imaginations running away with us."
Can't wait to see it, wherever it goes.

Free logo please

There's a great e-mail exchange here that will ring true to a lot of graphic designers and creatives of my acquaintance.
The same principle applies to creative writing as well. Enjoy.

BBC back in time and back on track

The BBC are set to broadcast A History Of The World In 100 Objects with artefacts from the British Museum on Radio 4 in January.
Written by the museum's director Neil MacGregor this should be a compelling and accessible look at the broad spectrum of human history.
It also represents what the BBC does best - good quality public service broadcasting - and what they should concentrate on.

What a surprise - the banks win

The banks have won their case against refunding overdraft charges.
Since these banks are owned by us it means we don't have to give us our own money back.
The winners: the bankers of course.

Why don't Google remove Michelle Obama image?

What possible reason can Google have for not removing this crudely manipulated picture of Michelle Obama from their images search page.
They are aware it is there but decline to act.
It is childishly racist and should be taken down.
"It's offensive to many people, but that alone is not a reason to remove it from our search index," Google Inc. spokesman Scott Rubin said. "We have, in general, a bias toward free speech."
Free speech, pah! The company says nothing is removed unless the content is illegal or violates the company's webmaster guidelines.
Surely it's time they had another look at those 'webmaster guidelines'.

Should Mossad plant car bombs?

Should Mossad be training spies to plant car bombs?
According to the Mossad Charter the organisation is devoted to 'uphold the values of justice, integrity, morality ....'.
Where does planting car bombs fit into that framework?

Why Bloodhound SSC is child's play

The Team at the Bloodhound SSC project have produced a fun video to publicise the world land speed bid by their rocket-powered car.
Part of their brief is to engage children with engineering and it's certainly working in my house. And the big kids too.



Informative piece about Bloodhound in The Times reveals that: 'The Bloodhound project recently surpassed the Met Office in terms of computing power.'
Can this explain our ill-preparedness for flooding?

Irish cleaners snub Henry

This is my favourite story of the day.
The Sun says that cleaners in Ireland are snubbing their Henry vacuum cleaners because of their, loose, association with handball cheat Thierry.

Iraq War inquiry - whitewash on the way?

Sir John Chilcot is promising that the Iraq War Inquiry will not be a 'whitewash'.
Does anybody other than Sir John seriously believe this?

El Nino or god?

Some evidence here to support the 'act of god' hypothesis about the cause of the Cumbrian floods.
But the El Nino effect - warming of the ocean - is present in the Pacific and could be causing this chaos.
Any extreme weather event raises suspicions of climate change but weather patterns are so hard to pin down it is impossible to say what caused something until it's too late to change the causes.
Forecasting is such an important area maybe it's time we pumped some more money into research to improve its accuracy.

Even Henry thinks it should be replayed

Thierry Henry believes a replay of France's controversial World Cup play-off victory over Ireland would be fair.
Handball Henry said: 'Of course the fairest solution would be to replay the game but it is not in my control.'
But remember when Arsenal beat Sheffield United in the FA Cup in 1999 after scoring when the opposition expected them to return the ball?
Arsenal agreed to replay the game without any FA involvement.
Why can't the FFF do the same?
FIFA's Fair Play Code reads like a very hollow statement in the light of their intransigence over this blatant piece of cheating.
Football will die if it carries on like this.

After the flood

The terrible floods in Cockermouth recall memories of the devastation caused to Hull and the poor level of support for local people in the aftermath.
We must put in place effective measures to deal with post-flood recovery as wetter conditions are something we are going to have to get used to.
A study by Lancaster University after Hull produced a submission to DEFRA's consultation on the Draft Flood and Water Management Bill.
One of the findings says: 'It is vital for the government to rethink the recovery process to ensure that better, more long-term support is available for residents affected by flooding. The draft bill makes very little reference to this longer-term process and yet learning how to provide better support for people during flood recovery must form a vital part of managing flood and coastal erosion risks successfully.'
Their recommendation seems ever more relevant.

Replay call after Henry handball

If ever there was a case for a match to be replayed on the basis of video evidence then this was it. Thierry Henry handles the ball before crossing to William Gallas.
This act of cheating put France into the 2010 World Cup at Ireland's expense.
Let's remind ourselves what Henry said after Arsenal's Champions League final defeat by Barcelona in 2006: 'I expected the referee to do his job. I don't think he did.'
What will Uefa president, and former France captain, Michel Platini make of this? He usually has plenty to say. Let's wait and see.

Bribery bill

Is it not already illegal to bribe foreign officials?
And how will our arms trade sell any cluster bombs?
These Queen's Speech proposals would have far-reaching implications in an ideal world.
But I'm sure all companies doing business with countries and industries where 'brown envelope' culture persists realise that this measure is completely unenforceable.

Facebook risks button backlash

There could be an anti-Facebook backlash for their refusal to stick child protection help buttons on their site.
This would seem to be a thoroughly useful and practical initiative in the battle against online predators.
Facebook's line about seeing how it works at Bebo is likely to drive people on to their rival.

Sarkozy falls short at Croke Park

We all know how sensitive little Nicolas Sarkozy is about his lack of height.
Well Irish Soccer Insider has taken the ball and ran with that to produce a great spoof exchange of letters between Sarko and the FAI.
Enjoy.
Check out the address of the Consulat General de France.

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Copywriter

Mercedes buy Brawn to team up Lewis and Jenson

Mercedes have bought Brawn so Jenson Button is likely to join up with Lewis Hamilton at McLaren.
Great news for Jenson, out of the fading Brawn, but not so good for Lewis who won't have a second-rate team-mate to compete with/against.
Interesting contrast of driving styles - Lewis aggressive, Jenson smooth - is likely to mean very different set-ups for the two team cars. But who will get the best out of the 2010 McLaren?
Good news for F1 generally in a troubled climate.

Why Clegg's commonsense politics will be ignored

Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg has called for the Queen's Speech to be scrapped as there will be no time to implement any of the measures before the next election.
Speaking in The Independent he says the time would be better spent on an emergency programme of reform designed to "clean up politics once and for all".
Here's just two reasons, from the main parties' perspective, why this wholly sensible proposal will be ignored.
Labour: It would be another sign of weakness from the party of power and a virtual admission of imminent defeat.
Conservative: Any proposals outlined will give the Tories more ammunition to shoot down this dying duck of a government and its implementation would legitimise the Lib Dem challenge.
As usual the losers are the people of this country.

Bath dig in Roman Great Drain

Fascinating story in The Times about an archaeological investigation of the main Roman drain in Bath.
What will be revealed by sifting through the detritus of two millennia is anybody's guess.
Previous 'digs' have uncovered '33 carved cameo gemstones and a mysterious tin mask'.
The drain is in great condition but the local council need to inspect it to make sure it stays that way and that opens the way for the archaeologists.

Talk to Blair and talk to the Taleban

Tony Blair will be called to give evidence to the Iraq War inquiry next year.
Sir John Chilcot says: 'We will ask them to explain the main decisions and tasks, and their involvement.'
This seems pretty clear but they have to get to the bottom of this for the sake of the lives lost and to move forward toward resolution.
The dodgy dossier lies at the heart of this and Blair's interpretation of the erroneous findings.
An unrepentant man, two years ago he said: 'The enemy that we are fighting I am afraid has learnt . . . that our stomach for this fight is limited and I believe they think they can wait us out. Our determination has got to match theirs and our will has got to be stronger than theirs and at the moment I think it is probably not.'
Armed with this knowledge why didn't the strategy change?
The nation's support for these 'wars against terror' was wavering then, it's at rock bottom now and we must try another tack - dialogue.

Medals for the MoD

MoD officials get performance bonuses!
For failing to deliver enough equipment to the frontline troops?
For doing such a bad job that the mothers of soldiers have to send out basics like underwear?
Do troops serving in Afghanistan, who could be on as much as £17k, get performance bonuses?
No, they get a nice piece of ribbon and a lump of gun metal.
But are bonuses enough, why don't we give the MoD lads medals as well?

Harry shames The Sun

Nice observation here at Harry's Place.
Is this symptomatic of a lack of respect for the fallen or just an error?

DNA database - the dangers

The national DNA database, the world's largest at five million profiles, is to have a six-year retention limit placed upon it in line with EU law.
DNA fingerprinting is an enormously powerful tool in the battle against crime but the great danger is its perceived infallibility.
The CSI factor plays a big part in our faith in the system but the facts show that less than one per cent of crime is solved by the use of DNA.
As with all science the most likely errors are caused by humans. While that is always going to be the case, we must treat DNA evidence as just part of an investigation and not a golden bullet of justice.
The danger of having a database any older than a few years is that collection techniques may not match the quality of matching techniques.

Korea's war of words

The North and South Koreans have clashed at sea.
The South (goodies) opened fire on the North's (baddies) vessel when it strayed into their waters.
Unbowed the North retaliated, causing the South's ships to be 'flurried', according to their official news agency KCNA.
Say what you like about the North Koreans but they certainly talk the florid talk.
Here's a warning to the USA after a missile test near Hawaii.
'They had better behave prudently, bearing in mind that their adventurous scenario for a preemptive attack on the DPRK is nothing but a foolish one bringing them self-destruction.'

PM phone call to Mrs Janes

If you're wondering where to find the audio of Gordon Brown's phone call to the mother of Jamie Janes it's here.
She challenges him more effectively on equipment shortages than anybody before.
You can't help feeling sorry for both of them.
If this doesn't persuade Gordon Brown to get the boys out, or equip them properly, then nothing will.

Nuclear power - the losers

Dungeness in Kent has been rejected as the site for a new nuclear power plant.
Ed Miliband told the House of Commons that this was because, 'the Government does not believe ... that a new nuclear power station can be built there without causing an adverse effect on the integrity of the internationally unique eco-system.'
But can any nuclear plant be built without having negative environmental or social effects?
Kirksanton in Cumbria will have a brand new power station on a nice beach.

The beach is a tourist attraction that will disappear under concrete. For local people like Maggie and Imtaz, who have spent five years lovingly renovating and converting Manor Farm 'to create a cosy holiday destination for those with disabilities along with their families or carers', this is not such good news.

Brown's letter clouds the issue

If Gordon Brown's letter to Jamie Janes' mother had been beautifully handwritten would it really have made a difference to this poor grieving woman.
Her reaction is understandable but I'm sure this is not the first time that he has mis-spelled something in a personal letter to a bereaved relative.

Interestingly this is the first time someone has complained in public. Again, her anger is understandable but it's clear it is not really about the letter. It's about the tragic loss of her son.
Brown's real crime is not his handwriting or spelling - it's the fact that he is unwilling to bring the boys back home or give them the equipment to do the job properly.
Let's not lose sight of that.

Naughty Top Gear ad - what do you think?

The Top Gear spoof ad for VW has been condemned by Ofcom.
'Ludicrous and obviously comic' or 'potentially disturbing'?
Let's judge for ourselves.

I may quit, says bitter Sugar

At last some good news.
Sir Alan Sugar may fire himself as government business tsar.
Last week he described small businessmen who struggle to get loans as 'moaners'.
He's worried about the negative publicity and says he is giving his time free of charge.
He fails to mention the enormous boost to his not inconsiderable ego he received when asked to fulfil this role.
What we need to know is:
What has he done?
Has he achieved anything?
How much did it cost?
Is he the Chauncey Gardiner of business tsars?

Baguette stops Large Hadron Collider

A baguette is being blamed for a short circuit that prevented Cern from probing the physics in place just after the Big Bang and confirmation of the Higgs Boson.
The operation of the Large Hadron Collider was halted after the malfunction.
The bread was dropped by a bird and bizarrely gives some credence to a wacky theory that future Higgs Boson-producing machines are preventing the discovery of the elusive particle today.
Physicists Holger B Nielsen and Masao Ninomiya speculate in that these future machines are preventing us from finding the Higgs Boson.
Of course, there is a serious paradox issue here.
How will we go on to develop the technology to produce machines that emit Higgs Bosons in order to prevent their discovery in the first place?

One law for Chelsea, Arsenal and Man Utd

What is the point of imposing sanctions on football clubs when they cannot be enforced?
Time and again big clubs are punished only to appeal and get off.
Chelsea's crime was to poach a young player. They induced him into breaking his contract against Fifa rules.
Predictably, the transfer embargo was lifted on appeal to the Court of Arbitration for Sport.
True, it may be reimposed but how likely is that?
The punishment here would have worked as a real deterrent to big clubs, who rely on buying success, and served to encourage smaller ones to develop talent.
In that way they could level the playing field and one day become a big club.
If not, they would get a decent price for a talented player to buy in a replacement or reinvest in youth.
Arsenal's appeal for Eduardo's dive is another example of big clubs avoiding sanction when clear offences have been committed.
And now Alex Ferguson weighs in with another rant at the referee in the knowledge that he cannot be touched.
Young players are taught by the FA to respect the referee and respect the rules.
But where is the example to follow?

Brown's Afghanistan fudge

Gordon Brown's statement about the war in Afghanistan only serves to confirm that our troops will be there for a long time yet.
His goal seems to be, not that he says so, the complete eradication of an Al-Qaeda terrorist threat.
That seems impossible with the current strategy of bomb, burn and kill.
And what do we do if Hamid Karzai's government fails to pass his five tests of 'security, governance, reconciliation, economic development and engagement with its neighbours'.
He's already said we won't leave.
We've been there for eight years and we could be there for 80 and nothing positive would be achieved.
We need a dialogue with the terrorists to work towards peace. Communication is the key.
Northern Ireland's example should set the tone.

Is this the bravest woman in Britain?

This picture from today's Sun shows the widow of staff sergeant Olaf Schmid. He died instantly when a bomb he was trying to disarm blew up.
Christina applauded her husband's coffin as it rolled past in Wootton Bassett. He had disarmed more than 60 bombs, saving countless lives and his wife's courage yesterday matched his.
RIP Sgt Schmid.

Bring troops back, says poll

A YouGov poll for Channel4 reveals that 73 per cent of people want British soldiers to return home from Afghanistan.
Paddy Ashdown wrote in today's Times: 'Afghanistan must become the nation’s No1 priority or the people will withdraw their support.'
It now looks like they already have.

Why Cameron insults our intelligence

The Conservative party have vowed to repatriate powers from Brussels after a humiliating climbdown over the Lisbon Treaty.
Remember their promise that there would be a referendum on the treaty?
David Cameron vowed to Sun readers there would be a referendum.
Today he explains why he will break that promise and makes three other promises that he will break.
He says: 'First, bringing back powers over social and employment laws. While businesses struggle through this recession, it is outrageous that rules from Brussels add to their burden. And we can't afford the NHS to be mucked about by EU working time rules either.
'Second, we want a guarantee that the Charter of Fundamental Rights will not be used by EU judges to add to EU law affecting the UK. Third, we want to pull back powers so that EU judges can't gain creeping control over the British criminal justice system.
'And finally, we will enshrine Britain's independence in law by taking a Sovereignty Bill through Parliament. This would guarantee that the final word on our laws is here in the UK.'
Cameron knows none of these things are possible - EU law is tightly framed and any changes of this nature would take years to implement.
Even members of his own party don't believe him. It is merely tub-thumping to hold on to his share of the vote - shameless electioneering.
As Elmar Brook points out in The Independent: 'The biggest transfers of British sovereignty to the EU were made with the Single European Act and the Maastricht treaty – under the Conservative leaders John Major, and Margaret Thatcher.'
Don't insult our intelligence Dave.

Dead and alive

Wacky stories from around the world have a habit of turning up on our shores.
This tale of 'man turns up at own funeral' is a classic after the family identified a disfigured car crash victim as their kin.
The whole picture falls into place when we hear that the unfortunate Brazilian brickie Ademir Jorge Goncalves had spent the previous evening drinking pinga, a spirit made from distilled sugar cane, with friends.
I'm sure we've all had nights like that but walking into your own funeral must have been the ultimate sobering experience.

Funding key to Nutt's plan

Professor David Nutt is saying he will establish a new drug advisory body if the current one is disbanded.
The key here is who will be funding it as its independence and credibility depend upon it.
Nutt refuses to say where the money is coming from but any hint of cash from pharmaceutical sources will scupper this plan.
The BBC reckon the present Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs costs £150,000 per year to run.

BNP's Sellafield hubris

BNP posturing over what it can and cannot do is the price we pay for allowing these extremists into the political mainstream.
Sellafield refused to allow BNP leader Nick Griffin to visit the plant on the grounds that it could cause an 'unnecessary distraction'.
Predictably the BNP is reportedly considering legal avenues amid claims that the plant is undermining the democratic process.
It is sickening to see the BNP atop the moral high ground over any issue and this is no exception. But I'm sure this is not the last we will see more of this until they are voted out of the political arena.
Any black or Asian employees at Sellafield would no doubt be appalled to see Mr Griffin at their workplace.
Is that not reason enough to stop him visiting?

Have a go Bo Jo

Can Boris do no wrong?
Now he's seen off some would-be muggers on his bike.
Let's just put him in charge of the UK and the EU now.

£1,000 rail fare

The first £1,000 rail fare has been 'discovered' in the UK.
It's Newquay in Cornwall to Kyle of Lochalsh (right) in Scotland - and I daresay it's not a direct connection.
This is a 704-mile journey by road.
The petrol costs would be around £150 and you could buy an old banger for about £100. Then since you could MOT, tax and insure it for £200 you'd surely have to be mad to buy this ticket.
Are there enough mad folk out there to make it worth their while offering this?
There's probably a journalist planning his trip right now.

Happy to be grumpy

Apparently being grumpy is good for you.
This has made me happy.
But am I now unhappy because I am no longer grumpy?

Wilshire's Nazi gaffe - the real tragedy

The latest in the 'they just don't get it' series is the extraordinary claim by Tory MP David Wilshire - a man under investigation for paying his own company £105,000 with our money.
He said: "The witch-hunt against MPs in general will undermine democracy. It will weaken Parliament - handing yet more power to governments. Branding a whole group of people as undesirables led to Hitler's gas chambers."
Let's get this straight. He is comparing the investigation into dodgy expenses claims by MPs to the holocaust.
Sorry David, I don't think any MPs have died at the hands of brutal thugs. His remarks are beyond contempt.
In The Times Rachel Sylvester says: 'In the week of the anniversary of the gunpowder plot, most voters would like nothing better than to blow up the House of Commons, stoking the fire with tables and chairs purchased from the John Lewis list.'
And that's putting it mildly.
A more reasoned response to the crisis comes in the FT from Philip Stephens.
He suggests giving MPs a pay rise to £90k from their present £65k.
Of course he's right - I'd propose a higher figure - but there's no chance they'll get an increase.
Ultimately we will all suffer with low-grade representatives in parliament - we are the victims, not Wilshire and his like.

Simon Mann and Mark Thatcher

Simon Mann's release from prison in Equatorial Guinea must be making his old mate Mark 'Scratcher' Thatcher very nervous.
Mercenary leader Mann, and others including Nick du Toit, were the fall guys for a failed coup of the oil-rich African state. Mann said at his trial that the Wonga Coup was funded by Sir Mark, Margaret's boy, and Lebanese millionaire Eli Calil.
Calil said of Mann after the former SAS man's trial: 'It was his lack of professionalism, his lack of discretion, his lack of judgement that caused this situation.'
I would imagine that after five years inside the Black Beach jail that Mann and his fellow dogs of war may be feeling some bitterness toward Thatcher and Calil.
In a letter to his wife before the trial Mann said: 'It may be that getting us out comes down to a large splodge of wonga.'
The wonga, if it ever arrived, seems to have taken a long time to do the trick.
We've not heard the last of this.
Here's the original Sky News report after Mann was jailed.

The worst sports kits in history

The Telegraph website has produced a picture montage of the worst sporting kits in the light of England rugby's purple away strip.
However, how any review of the subject can ignore Coventry City's legendary brown away kit is beyond me.
In the picture the offending outfit is modelled by the lovely Ian Wallace.

Frankie Boyle, Adlington and the BBC

This whole anti-comedy thing is getting a bit much.
I can see Rebecca Adlington's point but her spokesman has said the BBC Trust rebuke for Frankie Boyle is not enough.
Come on.
Frankie's one of the finest comedians of his generation and this ridiculous witch hunt could drive him out. We've already lost him from Mock The Week.
The furore's not doing Adlington any favours either and is sure to provoke a backlash from Frankie fans.
It's also drawing even more attention to the original remarks (see below).

Nutt's not the nut

Prof David Nutt has given his two-penneth in The Observer and it should make for uncomfortable reading for this shambles of a dying government.
He highlights the fact that this government turned drug classification from a medical decision to a political one.
A bit like the interest rate issue in reverse.
As a result he felt he had a right to express an opinion.
He was wrong.
As the Obs says: 'Nutt's sacking was another milestone in Britain's progression from a great Enlightenment country into a place where prejudice reigns. Big Media has played its part, but so have timid, callow politicians.'

Facebook, privacy and perverts

The Sun leads on calls for Facebook to be held responsible for perverts using false identities on the site.
But how can they do it?
Is it practical?
There's some useful information from the Internet Watch Foundation, here at 10 Privacy Settings Every Facebook User Should Know and at the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre but parental responsibility is the key.
It can't be left to other agencies while the technology is not up to policing the web. The risk is just too great.
The internet is a force for good but it has allowed individuals with latent perverse desires to come to the fore.
We must all be on our guard.

Nutt off message and on bike

Is there no scope for anyone being 'off message' in the UK?
The unfortunately named Prof Nutt declared that alcohol was more dangerous than some drugs and he's clearly right.
We thrive on idependent thought but apparently this undermines the message.
Surely it highlights it and provokes an open debate to get people thinking.
We were highly critical when this sort of thing happened in an Eastern European country in the old iron curtain days.
We looked on with a wagging finger of liberalism at Solidarity's protests in Gdansk.
How have we got here?

Marker morons

This dynamic duo were caught by police after a burglary because of their bizarre attempts at a disguise.
They drew 'masks' on their faces in permanent marker.
In America, naturally.

Schwarzenegger power

Arnie Schwarzenegger has denied deliberately insulting a political opponent in a coded e-mail message.
If you can't read it the seven lines start with the letters F, U, C, K, Y, O and U.
According to The Independent: 'The mathematical probability of the seven-letter phrase "fuck you" ... is 26 to the power of seven – or about 8,031,810,176 – to one.'
Judge for yourself.

Pop goes a cliche

In The Times Philip Collins (is that his real name?) contends that Pop Music can't do Politics.
What rubbish this is.
He cites a 'lack of intelligent lyrical comment' but merely exposes himself to ridicule over his lack of musical knowledge.
Hey Phil, try Frank Turner, Show of Hands, Green Day, Blabbermouth, Michael Franti, Steve Knightley or Martyn Joseph.

Baffle of Bosworth Field

Interesting piece in The Times and elsewhere about the establishment of the true location of the Battle of Bosworth Field.
It seems the visitor centre is in the wrong place and should be two miles away.
Picture the scene yesterday morning in Pennington Street where a harassed news editor thinks: 'Hmm we need a sidebar to complement this. Find me a scholar Tarquin.'
Up steps Michael Jones, author of Bosworth 1485: Psychology of a Battle.
A perfect choice? Maybe not.
As Ben Hoyle's Times story reveals, the current investigation dismissed 'Michael K. Jones’s theory that the battle was eight miles away in Warwickshire'.
So what are we to make of the final paragraph of the accompanying piece by the aforementioned Jones.
He says: 'Walking the actual field of combat remains one of the most powerful ways to connect with the past.'
Of course it begs the question: How does he know?

Short shrift from Sarkozy

French president Nicholas Sarkozy is embroiled in a domestic row over the cost of a shower built at taxpayers' expense but never used.
Rag Reader understands that President Sarkozy, 5ft 4in, is keen to distance himself from any suggestions that the reason he did not use the shower in question was because he could not reach the taps.
Sarkozy, who loves Gordon Brown but not in a sexual way and enjoys the company of shorter people, lists as his hobbies; standing on boxes and wearing platform shoes.
And he did not pick short factory workers to make himself look taller when making a speech.

Curry kills cancer

Further confirmation that curry is the elixir of life.
I'm now looking for a study into the benefits of London Pride - perhaps Fuller's can sponsor some scientific research.

Banker bites shark

Concerns were raised after a 3m great white shark was found dead with two huge bites taken out of its body. Experts believe the bites were made by an even larger predatory animal - a City banker.
Savers have been warned to stay out of the banks on Stradbroke Island, north of Brisbane.
"It certainly opened up my eyes. I mean the shark that was caught is a substantial shark in itself," Jeff Krause of Queensland Fisheries said.
Savers have reacted to the news of the banker attack with shock.
"Whatever attacked and took chunks out of this big shark must be massive," said Ashton Smith, 19. "I've heard about the big banker that's lurking out there somewhere.
"We're all being very, very cautious."
Australia is entering summer, a period of the year when banker attacks on humans increase because of the higher number of bankers on holiday.

Amelia Earhart eaten by crabs

Gruesome but fascinating story breaking today about the fate of US aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart.
Earhart and Fred Noonan were trying to be the first to circumnavigate the globe at the equator but vanished on July 2 1937.
It seems they may have made an emergency landing on a tiny Pacific island only to be eaten by giant crabs a few months later.
The Earhart Project has been conducting an archaeological survey of Gardner Island, now Nikumaroro in the Republic of Kiribati.
They have found convincing evidence that might just prove Earhart met her fate there.
It should certainly help fund next season's investigation.