Santa 2.0

Nice piece by Brian Campbell in today's Wall Street Journal.

He's saying that Santa needs upgrading and outsourcing. He thinks we need a Santa who: 'runs triathlons and talks about them on Twitter'.
Should somebody tell him? Where's Julian Assange when you need him.

Rubberbandits - pure genius

I can only describe this as undescribable.



Surely this should romp home as Christmas No1.

Sepp Blatter's gay PR disaster

This anti-gay comment could be more damaging to Sepp Blatter than the dodgy World Cup decisions.



He's not just head of an organisation that, to put it generously, requires a little more transparency, he's also proved himself to be a political dinosaur. He needs some quality PR.
Sepp Blatter is 74.

Embarrassing Times

Now they've got a pay wall so here's an extract from the second leader in today's Times:
'There is a dangerous nihilism in the refusal to distinguish between information that embarasses the powerful, and information that potentially puts lives at risk.'
There but for the grace goes everyone who publishes words, so I refuse to gloat.
But, that is embarassing, or should that be embarrassing, for a paper with the highest standards of all.

Cameron's happy index

David Cameron is launching a £2m project to work out how happy we all are.
I suggest he puts the cash back in the Treasury and visits a few pubs and just asks around.
He'll find out soon enough what irks the nation.
"To those who say that all this sounds like a distraction from the serious business of government, I say finding out what will really improve lives and acting on it is the serious business of government," he will say, says the BBC.
I am one of those who will say that, when he says that.
I suspect I will not be alone.

New Zealand miners RIP

The deaths of 29 miners in New Zealand is an awful tragedy and seems all the worse for its proximity to the dramatic Chilean rescue story.
Mining can never be an entirely safe business but steps must be taken to keep these accidents to a minimum.
Our thoughts go out to the families involved.

Proud of the BBC

Musical comedian Mitch Benn has released an homage to the BBC, who pay his wages as Now Show singer songwriter. I'm Proud of the BBC is very reminiscent of Billy Joel's We Didn't Light The Fire apology for the USA.
In the light of constant attacks on the Beeb, which resolutely refuses to defend itself, by the Daily Mail et al this serves to balance things up a bit.

Cantona wants a run on the banks

Eric Cantona, the kung fu kicking philosopher footballer turned actor, is proposing a run on the banks to alleviate social strife.
He thinks the banking system is the root of all our problems and if we all withdrew our money simultaneously the banks would collapse and everything would be fine.
He says: "We must go to the bank. In this case there would be a real revolution. It's not complicated; instead of going on the streets and driving kilometres by car you simply go to the bank in your country and withdraw your money, and if there are a lot of people withdrawing their money the system collapses. No weapons, no blood, or anything like that."



There are so many holes in this argument it's difficult to know where to start.
What do you do with your money if you take it out?
Criminals must be rubbing their hands with glee at the prospect of people roaming the streets pockets stuffed full of cash.
What happens to the people who can't get their money out?
They lose it because their bank will have collapsed. Banks do not have enough cash to give everyone their money. It's the banking business model.
The banks owe billions to the taxpayer, if they collapse they won't be able to pay it back, ever.
Banking panics cause recessions, they don't cure them.
This is a time for calm not panic.
Eric is suffering from delusions of grandeur. Just because he could kick a ball, and a fan, does not mean his social solutions have any value at all. Most of us are intelligent enough to realise that - the rest of society will be at the cashpoints on December 7.

Sarah Palin - grim reality

If I was to say that the person who could be the next leader of the free world has just launched a reality TV show on a channel called TLC you might think I was pulling your leg.
Not so.
Sarah Palin's Alaska shows the Tea Party queen hunting, shooting and fishing in the wilderness state in a thinly-disguised bid to show voters that she's just an ordinary mom.



And in an illuminating piece in today's International Herald Tribune Frank Rich points out that 'her amateurism and liabilities are badges of honor'.
Perhaps she's not as stupid as we thought she was.
But should we be worried that she could be the next president of the United States?
Barack Obama's ineffectiveness, despite going into the job with the best of intentions, suggests the office is one that is dogged by inertia, so maybe not.
The US has a track record of electing presidents not overburdened with intelligence.
As it stands Palin is a shoo-in for 2012.

Danny MacAskill's back

There's a new video by the extraordinary Danny MacAskill.
This guy is obviously technically brilliant but the most remarkable thing about his stunts is the level of creativity and imagination involved.
And the scenery has got me pining for the glens.

Freed on appeal - your turn to judge

This policeman, Sgt Mark Andrews of Wiltshire Police, has been cleared on appeal of assault. I'll let you be the judge of whether or not he used excessive force when he put this woman in the cell.

Thames voted worst river

Something called Our Rivers has conducted a poll that concludes that the Thames is the worst river in England and Wales.
It's certainly got them some publicity and picking on the country's major river is guaranteed to get them plenty more than some rural backwater.

This'll make you smile

On a day like this it's cathartic to turn to things that make us smile.

Enjoy.

Israel release weaponry pictures but not peace envoys

The Israel Defence Force has released pictures of the weaponry they faced but not any of the peace envoys.
But surely this stuff is all improvised.
If they really had murderous intent and thought it was going to kick off they would have brought some serious kit not this boy scout stuff.

Israeli raid on Gaza convoy - the video

I've watched this a few times and I still can't make out what's going on. But suffice to say it's not good.



Israel deputy foreigm minister Danny Ayalon claims they found weapons on the ships. Fair enough, the video does show a pole and a catapult.

Wembley warning

It seems extraordinary that England captain Rio Ferdinand is frightened of playing at the national stadium because of the state of the pitch.
The Wembley pitch has been relaid 11 times since 2007.
Other countries manage to stage events at their top grounds, so why can't we?
If any of them gets injured tonight against Mexico we will have paid a high price for a few nice seats.

Spoof movie trailer

Here's the trailer for every Oscar-winning movie - ever.

A Trailer for Every Academy Award Winning Movie Ever -- powered by Cracked.com

Bill McLaren RIP

Sad news about the death of Bill McLaren.
I was lucky enough to speak to him a few times and he was decent, self-effacing man with a real passion for rugby.

FIFA fudge over Henry handball

FIFA have refused to punish Thierry Henry for the handball that gave France a World Cup place in the play-off against Ireland.
They say there was 'no legal foundation for the committee to consider the case because handling the ball cannot be regarded as a serious infringement'.
It's time FIFA rewrote their code of conduct to encompass such flagrant cheating.
What happens if this happens again - and again and again. Football will die.

Jonathan Ross quits the BBC

The Daily Mail are gonna love this.
Wossy insists he's not leaving in the summer because of financial reasons.
Will he now sign up for I'm a Celebrity?
Ant and Dec must be getting twitchy.

Whale war

This is pretty shocking behaviour from the Japanese whalers who rammed the whale protest boat Ady Gil. The anti-whalers were stationary at the time.



BUT - The Sea Shepherd Conservation Society can, will and should make huge political capital of an ill-judged act of almost homicidal aggression.

Pomagne supernova

The Daily Telegraph claims that the earth could 'soon be wiped out by the explosion of a star more than 3,000 light years away'.
Let's have a closer look at this outlandish story about the 'imminent' supernova soon to befall T Pyxidis that also appears in today's Sun.
'Although the star is thought to be around 3,260 light-years away – a fairly short distance in galactic terms – the blast from the thermonuclear explosion could strip away the Earth's ozone layer, the scientists said,' writes the Tele.
So should we be worried?
Well, bearing in mind that this supernova is unlikely to blow for at least ten million years I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

Majestic Wine - in vino veritas

Majestic Wine has seen sales rise nearly 12 per cent over last year's figure.
The company reduced the minimum purchase from 12 to six bottles back in September after years of standing firm on the 'case-only' proviso.
While the board must be pleased, they must also be wondering why they didn't do this years ago.

Middle Class Blues

I've written a song called Middle Class Blues and my musical guru Tim Ball has been kind enough to 'get it down' digitally.
It's on my Myspace page.
I think it may be the only song that features Fred Goodwin, Labradors (Coco, left) Volvo, Aga and school fees in the lyrics.
Singing it made me feel better and I hope it does you too.
I'd like to get it on to You Tube with a video. If anyone can help that would be great - there's no money in it of course.
Contact me if you fancy it.